Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Anger is a funny thing

I don't know what drove me to be so annoyed at everything today. I hate that. A bunch of little things, I guess. I'm not seeing my kids these holidays. Nothing for it, unfortunately. Money is tight and you have to do what you have to do.

So, I'm not really mad about that. Just sad. I miss my kids.

Had a long conversation, online, with an old friend. And something about his insecurities just annoyed me. This has been part of a long trend of getting annoyed way too easily by people. I don't want to be that person. And it's not everyone who is annoying. Just select people.

In one case, I feel bad because this poor person is really enthusiastic. Does not deserve my ire one bit. So, in that situation, I simply ignore this individual.

Another person who has been bothering me is someone that I, blissfully, don't have to spend any time with. This person is belittling friends of mine, going on about how stupid NaNoWriMo is (a few of my friends, my girlfriend, and I are all involved in NaNo), and is generally obnoxious with their opinions. (If you've noticed that I've not been using pronouns, this is on purpose. Save for my old friend, but he'll never read this crap anyway.)

I don't know. I don't want to feel this anger. Between cursing the luck of a former friend who has done a million percent less work than my friend Nick and I have done, to wishing things could just turn around, I'm unhappy. I mean, I'm happy in the general sense. I'm not depressed. I hate people who throw that word around.

But I am unhappy. Maybe unsatisfied is a better word. I wish I could get a movie project off the ground. I wish I knew how to market my books. I wish I could figure it out. But, if it were so easy, everyone would do it.

I won't stop writing. I won't stop trying. At the very least, it's my art. And I can't ever stop.

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